Anger

Both men and women get angry.

Some research indicates that women will get just as angry as men behind closed doors, but turn that hostility into passive-aggressive behavior, like gossip, in public work places.

Other research indicates that, for a number of reasons, testosterone being among them, men get more directly angry, even outright aggressive and violent. Men do commit the vast majority of violent crimes and provide the leadership in going to war.

The picture is changing with rape. Used to be that 90% of rape victims were women. Some research indicates that men are now equally victims of violent sex crimes as women. Still other research shows that more women are now violating men.

Domestic violence is high. Some studies indicate that almost 25% of women have been victims of domestic violence in their lifetime. And nearly 14% of men have been the victim of it as well.

Anger

Both men and women get angry.

Some research indicates that women will get just as angry as men behind closed doors, but turn that hostility into passive-aggressive behavior, like gossip, in public work places.

Domestic violence is high. Some studies indicate that almost 25% of women have been victims of domestic violence in their lifetime. And nearly 14% of men have been the victim of it as well.

Angry Man — Psychological Counseling in Bethlehem, PA

Couple fighting - Psychological Counseling in Bethlehem, PA

Shouting Girl — Psychological Counseling in Bethlehem, PA

However accurate these studies are or aren’t, managing anger, and then resolving what drives anger, for men and for women, is critically important. The reason to manage anger is to avoid violence—so that no one gets physically hurt and no one has to go to jail. Beyond that, resolving anger is key to a more satisfying life.

Isn’t the aim of any good relationship love. Whatever other purposes there are to having a relationship—with anyone—whether it’s a family member, employee, or someone of an opposing political party, isn’t love what makes the world go ‘round? Unresolved anger destroys love…in whatever form that love takes. Unresolved anger may be driven by ongoing hurt…or hurt from the past…or bad modeling growing up. Whatever the reasons, letting anger fester is just a formula for lousy relationships, domestic violence, and potential legal trouble.

A final note: On the positive side, the energy that fuels anger can be harnessed for high achievement. Martin Luther King was a superb example of that in the public arena. His anger about the violation of the civil rights of blacks was directed into non-violent vision, action, and unparalleled oratory that called America to be a land of peace that affirmed that all people are created equal. As former President Clinton noted, King knew that the only way we’d ever hear his message was if he were non-violent. King’s vision needs to be the vision of everyone who struggles with anger.

May it be so for you, if you have a challenge with anger.

Associations:

American Psychotherapy Association; Pennsylvania Psychological Association; American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy

Board Licensed Psychologist; Clinical Fellow with American Association for Marriage & Family Therapy (AAMFT)

Fellow, American Psychotherapy Association

May it be so for you, if you have a challenge with anger.

Associations:

American Psychotherapy Association; Pennsylvania Psychological Association; American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy

Board Licensed Psychologist; Clinical Fellow with American Association for Marriage & Family Therapy (AAMFT)

Fellow, American Psychotherapy Association